Random talk session 195: "Crush" is a weird feeling

hello diary, today is 14/3/2011.. it's monday..

em.. today i wanna talk about sumthing call "crush"... when i had a crush, i had this feeling, "butterflies in my stomach".. and at times, i even feel want to throw up. At first, i am confuse of this feeling.. When that someone i like is near, or when i think of him, i suddenly feel sick and want to vomit.. I thought i didnt like him anymore, coz, normally, anything that disgust u make u want to throw up right? not the thing that u like.. but then, i look it up on the internet, and turns out it is a normal feeling after all lol

having a crush is a weird sensation, but falling in love must be much more wonderful feeling.. i dunno if i will ever fall in love... all i have all this time is only little crush and tegomasu's song, kataomoi no chiisana koi is my fav theme for my crush LOLOL Here's the translation lyric:

i really love you that I cannot sleep
I just thought that this love will never be
It's because of you, it is all because of you
As I tried to sleep, I just thought of something

Everything 'bout you is so beautiful
As if I cannot reach you after all
I've tried to forget and erase you in my mind
But now you're troubling me from deep inside...

Please tell me if there is an end
To the unrequited love that I am feeling for you...
But please do listen to my plea--feel me in every beat
Of this heart that loves you in a way that's irreversible...

"Are you alright? Does something bother you?"
You asked me one day with a worried face
It's because of you, it is just because of you
But I want to hide everything running in my mind...

Your words are very gentle to my ears
That all of my face couldn't help but blush
How I wish that I could tell you every single thing
That bothers me every now and then...

It's just fine if there is no end
To this unrequited love that I am feeling for you...
Please let me protect this feeling that's very dear for me
But often I can't do anything--
Yes, that is me, indeed...

What if I just told you everything
Then I'll never be able to see you (shining) smile again...
But I'm satisfied to keep this to myself...
This, I'll never regret...

It's just fine if there is no end
To this unrequited love that I am feeling for you...
Please let me protect this feeling that's very dear for me
For I still cannot do anything...

Please tell me if there is an end
To the unrequited love that I am feeling for you...
But please do listen to my plea--feel me in every beat
Of this heart that loves you in a way that's irreversible...

..... been repeating this song for days now LOL My fav part is:
Kono kataomoi ni owari ga nai no nara Sore demo ii Kono kataomoi wo mamotte hoshii Mada nani mo dekinai boku nan desu

XD

............ on a random note, i think i really like Kamiya now LOL just a matter of time until i add him in the official list LOL

Kamiya: i m #1

LOL isnt he's just so preciously cute? XD

dang it, and now, i also think that Nakamura guy is not bad XDDD how many seiyuu would i fall for??? they all are so.... charming XD emm... i think that's all from me today.. until next time! bye..

Random talk session 194: Depress!!

hello diary! today is 11/3/2011.. Hisashiburi!!! Quite a while since i update.. well, i have been busy coz of my new job and i feel so lazy to reload my broadband..

anyway, yeah, like i said, really been a while, and there are lots of things happened that i didnt managed to blog in.. so many things actually..

i am now at bintulu.. precisely at the GT Plywood quarters... been here for about 2 weeks..

anyway, to make it very short, i feel depressed working in the lab.. i has forgot everything i've learned in university.. i cant do the analysis.. to sum up, i suck so bad!!! aarghhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hate myself.. seriously. i cant do anything right.. arrghhh!! i feel so frustrated..

aii, enough of that.. next, is about.. my new kataomoi LOL so yeah, atarashii no kataomoi ga mitsuketanda.. LOL new place, new kataomoi, how typical of my life.. anyway.. there's a bit story on it, so before i forgot, i want to wrte about it..

it started on the first day that i went to the.. that place lol... And, soko de, ano hito ga iru.. at first, i dun think of anything towards aitsu, demo.. when anohito watashi ni hanashita, i think that was the time that i starts to.. u kno, koi wo hajimeru?? LOL haiya, it's so hard to tell the story wit my random japanese wording lol

and after the 2 weeks, today i got the infamous feel like throwing up when i think of anohito.. LOL

emm... i think that's it for today.. actually there are lots of things i want to write, but somehow, i dunno how to lol

Random talk session 193: crush and burn

hello diary! today is 19/2/2011. friday..

now at kuching. arrived yesterday. went to kuching to sent my big bro to the airport. he got a new job at selangor.. today got up so early coz of that. i woke up at 3am...

emm.. on another story. so after we sent him off, we went back to my cousin's house.. i fell asleep again lol and i had the strangest dream.. *sigh* no, strange is not the word...it's about watashi no kata omoi.. in the dream, for some reason, i took a glimpse of ano hito, then, watashi ga, try really hard to find ano hito.. watashi wa sagashite, sagashite, then i wake up, and.. i feel so sad coz ano hito aeru mae ni, yume ga mezameshita...

and i realize sumthing, watashi wa, ano hito no koto ga sugoku aitai desu.. ai tai, ai tai wo tamaranai.. i hate part of me that feel this way.

the end.. yeah, very short i kno.. just wanna record that i had this feeling before...

Random talk session 192: finally got a job

hello diary! today is 10.2.2011. thursday..

got some news today.. the kirana company from bintulu, finally call.. and yeah i got the job. i am not happy at all. now, that is weird. like i said, things that i dun want, i will always got. aii.. i guess i am going to bintulu.. i hate this..

ok, let me start again.. i was sleeping actually until the phone rang. i thought it was that stupid person coz the number is maxis. so ignored it. and then suddenly there was a message (i thought that stupid person again..) but turned out it was the chemist from kirana. she call me to tell me i got the job. i didnt feel happy at all.. i waited until like 2 hours to message her and told her to call me call her back coz i dun have enough credit.

that's about it..

em, ok, another story, my father bought a new car today, so i was at home alone when i received the call..

i am not happy wit the car coz it is so expensive for a 2nd hard car!!

em... ok, actually yesterday something happened.. a mouse suddenly ran pass my feet his fur brushed my feet lol i this like some kind of sign of what's happening today? who knows lol

i was very surprised, but i guess i am not that creep out by mouse. what i really hate is creepy crawlers, spider especially..i cant stand just seeing them!! *goosebumps*

ok, i think that's all for today.. em, today was some day.. emm..

k, bye!

Random talk session 191: Time capsule

hello diary! today is 9/2/2011 it's wednesday

ok, so today, after giving answer to yahoo answer, i suddenly decide to visit my old gendou music account.. and then i started to read the posts tat i posted at the forums, way back then! haha the result, omg, amusing!!! hahahahahaha!!! omg i sounded so.. hyper and happy??? lol and back then i often used Japanese words randomly, omg i feel embarrassed reading them for some reason hahahaha

and reading the posts, i once again realized i really, really, really love anime back then.. it was my life..

and wow, i actually love seiyuu frm 2005! and my fav seiyuu was seki tomo hahahaha it's funny reading my post about it haha and i also like houshi souichiro and miyata kouki.. haha..

ok, here are some more of my discoveries lol
- i was seriously mad in love wit yuki LOL i keep calling him my husband lol
- i used to love naruto. like, really love it. but now...*sigh* i feel like i have betrayed myself T-T
- i proclaimed sasuke as my fav character lol and it seems i also love kakashi and itachi <3
- i used to think raito is a hot villain omg lol
- i also love tamahome (lol of coz XD even now i guess XD)
- back then, i didn't have any idea how to download anime hahahh

- seriously, i was so.. like a different person.. is this really me? LOL
- lol and then, at some point, i dun say sekitomo as my fav seiyuu anymore... it has changed to noriaki sugiyama (and that is totally bcoz of sasuke lol)
- my habit of writting "bcoz' is since 2005 hahahahaha
- oh, i also love Mr. K. i wonder if i realized okiayu's voice back then haha
- lol @ my point of view at shika x temari
"i dont think masashi kishimoto's sensei will go deep into the character's pairing.....hey,after all naruto is not a romance manga/anime....
but, i still think shikamaru & ino is better than shimaru & temari
reasons: 1.temari is older than shikamaru
2.shikamaru is shorter than temari
hehehe O_o "
- hahahaha wow, i use to like shika x ino???? but now i kinda support choji x ino hahaha
- em, and i also love gin (bleach) (and still am now of coz XD)
- "Re: Any Manga's you would like to see as Anime's?
Hitman Reborn" hahahaha i also love reborn back at the days XD and i only watched the anime, 3 years later XD
- wow...looks at this: "Re: Are you a fan of Naruto
i totally love naruto!!! from the begining until forever~" my heart seriously hurts so much right now... i am now saying the same thing to Gintama... but in the future, this is gonna change.. i made up my mind!! i wont say gintama my fav anime anymore (except for questions in YA haha.. it just from now on, i wont say it so.. bluntly? or sumthing like that..)
- em, i thought i love sasuke, but in the thread about fav naruto character, i answered kakashi sensei.. and itachi... emm..
- Quote "to me, anime(and manga) is my life! it is the only thing that make me really happy.
i would be very sad also when people critize anime (they dont even understand what it is)"
- another quote, a long one

"Re: Share your favorite anime n' why..

i love anime so very much!!! it is my life!!!! without anime, i dont think my life is worth living for...

Dragon Ball is the most special anime to be. i read it's manga when i was 10 years old, i watched the anime when i was 13.

Now, i hav watched a lot of anime....so much that i dont know which one is the true my fav. Saw this, loved it, beacame my fav...then, watched that, loved it too, and became my fav also, then it goes on and on.... "

- just....just.. wow...
- my reply to the peach girl thread: "the ending is quite predictable(at least to me...)" what?? so i watched the anime before???? really?? i dun remember at at all! o_o

haha, it was so much fun reading my old posts.. it reminds me of the old days that i have forgotten... this is why i want to make blog like this.. so that, in 10 years in the future, i would read this blog again, and just remembering the good old days...

and.. ah, this gendou website, my friend introduced it to me.. i kinda miss her.. havent contact her for a while, i hope she has not forgotten me.. aimi, do u remember me? T-T

Random talk session 190

hello diary! today is sunday, 6/2/2011.

em, so these days i've been thinking about mikishin a lot lol dang this is seriously bcoz of that dream i had lol and now i dun want to watch/hear any yaoi anime/bl drama that has him in it lol it feel awkward lol

ok, anyways... em, dunno what else i want to say... guess that's all..? lol just want to write about mikishin??

now, this is what i call a real quick post lol

maybe i'll add sumthing if anything comes up to mind lol

EDIted on 7/2/11 XD ok, i am kinda bother that this post is too short lol

anyway, continue from my miki shin story.. i listen to abunai series 1 once again recently.. it has the 3 nostalgic lol i meant sekitomo, koyasu and mikishin XD i love miki shin character here lol

before this, i hear about the word "moe" a lot and actually i dunno what is this moe, what kind of character is moe??? but after listening to the drama, now i know lol especially when mikishin said, "kyaa!" LOLOLOLOL NOW THAT"S WHT I CALL MOE LOL

haha, ok that's all hahahaha

Random talk session 189: INTOXIC BY VOICES

hello diary..it's 1/2/2011.. tuesday... continue from the last entry lol

nnnnnnnngggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh toochika koichi (yay, i memorized his name lol)

gah, ok, starts from here, when i get this 'excited' feeling, i'll call it intoxic lol

gah! this guy voice nnghhh.. but then again, actually i havent hear his usual talking voice in the song lol

ok, back to the original entry that i wanted to make lol

anyway.. i was watching/downloading one of weiss perf from utube... the song is called it's too late... love this song.. hehe.. actually i downloaded the song quite a time ago, and this afternoon, i so happen to listen to it again, and ever since then i ve been repeating it lol and then i found the live perf in utube.. so, wanna comment some few things heh

1stly, lol this is the 1st time i see mikishin since that awkward dream i had lol i still feel shy when i see him hahahaha and kya love the way he hold the mic XD

and then, sekitomo looks restless lol he is wit the most movement XD koyasu singing so.. what's the word? like, so unenergetic or sumthing XD he looks kinda tired lol yuki and mikishin also doesnt have any movement, but it;s not bad as koyasu lol no, i'm not complaining XD i think he's really tired.. he;s like sweating a lot! poor guy XD

emm....i think that's all.. lol