Random talk session 312: alamak

 Hello diary

It's 16th February 2026

2 months since last entry? So many things happened (fandom wise) lol so, as usual i need to record it

Ok.. Yeah.. New obsession? Maybe lol

So last time i was obsessed with Ezad and exists right .. Now.. Not so.. I swear my obsession duration is getting shorter lololol one of the reason is bcoz as usual, lack of updates... There's nothing going on.. I was only listening to their music.. And watching old videos. There's not even not much of that.. 

I was mostly on tiktok.. Before i know it, bunch of alpha'a videos were on my fyp which i don't even know why (most probably coz i searched for Ajai). Tiktok algorithm is really scary lol ariel's armpit incident also got on my fyp but that time i didn't really think mch about it. Amidst all that, Awie's son also appear on my fyp lol i thought he was hot. Seriously lol i even masuk one of his live but only a bit. After a while i kinda forgot about him. Was going on about my life, listening to Exists songs.. Maybe coz i search for butakah cinta, ameng also appeared on my fyp lol. Long story short, i become interested in his son lololol so I watched his tiktok lives. One day i watched the live when ameng's son was hanging out with Zaki & Nasa. It was so funny, i had to watch it again so i search for the recording of that live. I'm not even a fan but they were really entertaining to watch 🤣 i even made a new tiktok account coz i want to post about the video. I post the videos just for fun but it went viral 😅🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Bcoz of that video, I searched about Zaki, Jamal Abdillah's son. I remember him coz he was on ceria popstar. I watched bit of ceria popstar coz of jozan lol.. So then Zaki's video suddenly appeared on my fyp. He was with Merrah. Once again, intrigued with their friendship, i check out their videos. They are so funny so i post it to tiktok, and once again went viral 🤣🤣🤣 

It was such a perfect timing of that viral video.. Zaki & Merrah have a project together coming soon, so it was good way to boost their names. 

Before i knew it, i was addicted to Zaki & Merrah contents lol. Like, they are sooo... How to say, like ngam bersama? 🤣🤣 Visually, they are like opposites of each other. One has a very clean good boy look, while the other is messy bad boy look, while sharing the same crazy personality. Recently they are very active together coz they have song coming soon. I hope even after the project they will still hang together.. 

Random talk session 311: Ezad Exists

 Hello diary

Today is 29.12.2025

Want to talk about Exists and Ezad again lol 

Honestly i don't remember Exists in my childhood nor my teenage years.. None that i can remember.. I know Spoon, Spring, Slam, New Boyz lol but not Exists lol 

Like how and why did i even search for their songs??? There's a video on YouTube that i remember watching coz i wanted to hear their songs.. 

Fast forward to 2025..

I really wanted to go to exists concert for some reason lol lol i remember checking up tickets for the Singapore concert lolol i remember it clearly coz i was disappointed that i can't get front row lolol (the ticketing was already open months before). 

About the members, i learn about the vocalists from tiktok lol i really didn't care much, lol i remember seeing Ezad on my fyp and i was like "meh" hahahah 

I also saw the ad for exists concert at jiospace, and was considering again, but coz i was not that big of a fan, i decided not to go alas. Months pass again, and there was the news about the postpone of the concert. I consider again hahah but nope, alas still not going haha 

Then. It's Dec. One day, the jiospace concert snippet appeared on my fyp. I was like "oh it's the concert that i wanted to go" so i watched it......and watch more of the videos..  I was like "damn the songs so good"... Before i know it, i was watching exists videos until 2am lololol I fell in love with Ezad lol (coz of his voice lol). Bcoz of this, i even went to watch old videos of exists on YouTube..... Watching those really made me more obsessed with Ezad lol 

Like i said earlier, i don't have memories of exists in my childhood, but somehow Ezad's voice felt very nostalgic..., this nostalgic feeling is not from my childhood, but maybe from 10, 14 years ago.. I must have heard of their songs from my colleagues. They always put on oldie songs when working so i terikut la jg dengar haha

The obsession was so real coz i didn't t even want to eat anything, and just want to watch and hear Ezad 😭 

I love Ezad soooo much..

I know, this is just a fangirl phase.. One day, my love for Ezad will fade away too, and i feel so sad thinking about it 😢😢😢

For now, i can say he's my fav person in the world. The one i love the most in the world. He brings joy and happiness to my lonely world.. I want to meet Ezad before this feeling go away.. 😢😢😢

Bye

Random talk session 310: 2025 fandom

 Hello diary

Today is 25.12.2025. Christmas desu lol

Anyways yeah yeah i know it has been so long. 

Need to blog to keep track of my fandom lol

Anyways 2025...  Last time, i was obsessed with the blue lock's voice imitation streamers, update on that.. I guess I'm still keeping up with them haha I'm still watching their regular broadcast on Wednesday.  I don't watch their individual broadcast as much now. Raki and Kamui particularly, coz they are my favs. Still love them of course. My heart squeeze when they interacts 🥹 so cute.. 

Oh.. I went to blue lock fes.. My first seiyuu event... 

Also, this year i skip Gene's concert... And with this, i can say it's an end of an era. I have been seeing them every year since 2017, and this year i didn't go. I don't plan to go for next year live also. Yes, they have announced next year live already. So early.. 

I'm also not obsessed over jozan anymore. I have stop posting on my tiktok.. This is what happens when there's nothing new.. 😢

What's sadder i never even met johan or zizan at all..

At one point i suddenly got obsessed with so7 😂 but it was very short period. Like maybe 1, 2 months? I was listening to their songs nonstop lol Pak Duta so cute lol alas, this obsession also didn't last long lol

Next, 1d and Harry lol i think i was too bored in life lol... I watched 1d old videos, narry videos... Just to satisfy my fangirl side.. It was fun but as usual didn't last very long...

Now... Now it's freakin Exists lol.. It's still fresh, like maybe 5 days 😂 so i need to write it before i forget lol... Before this, i already like Exists' songs, and would listen to them when I'm extra bore lol at one time I even considering to go to their concerts (as a casual fan). This was bcoz I missed going to concerts lol... One day, as usual I'm watching tiktok, suddenly clippings of Exists concert appeared on my fyp. And i was like, erm yeah this was the concert i wanted to go lololol so i watched a few bunch, and was like erm why this kinda good............. Their videos keep popping up on my fyp... Before I knew it i was searching their videos nonstop (not from fyp) lolol and that's how i got obsessed with Ezad Lazim. Damn his voice is soooooo goood 😭😭😭😭😭 it's so weird coz I've listen to their songs before, but i never noticed his voice lolololol... 

When i saw his face i was like..... Erm OK... Lol.. Not a shade ok. I'm a seiyuu fan ok. I'm attracted to voice more than the face lol..  So coz i was intrigued with Ezad's voice... Yeah i was scouring YouTube & tiktoks, watching Exists videos lol... Before i knew it, it was 2am, and then the next day I'm still watching lololol yeah, an obsession was born lol Ajai even appeared in my dream lololol yeah i like Ajai too loolol but Ezad's voice.. Man.. Really makes me crazy...

How i know it's real, coz i don't even feel like eating nowadays.. I feel so full just from watching Ezad lolololollolol this guy so cute and funny lol.. Even his gigi berlapis is cute lol 

What more can i say man.. 

I know this obsession will fade just like the others.   So sad when i think about it..  Anyhow i hope this time, at least i can see Ezad,and listen to his voice right in front of me.,not just from the screen.. 

Erm... Ok that's all i think lol.. Gonna continue watching Exists and Ezad videos lol.. 

Bye..  Until the next fandom lol... 

Random Talk Session 309: yet another obsession

 Hello diary

Today is 5th October (Saturday) 

 BLUE LOCK anime 2nd season starts today

Anyways, writing this coz i got a new obsession now lol

I get hook to a new stuffs too easily now lol

 just how bore am i...  🥲

OK let me just start from the beginning.. 

Last time, it was Blue Lock right... I finished the anime, and misses the characters so much, so i watch the voice imitation videos on YouTube. At first, i was just watching it for the characters, but as i watch more videos, i fell for the people that imitating the voices lol They are, i guess, are call vtubers? Streamers?..  Long story short, the ones that got my attention now are Kamui & Raki. FUNNILY enough, the first one tht got my attention is Kamui, the person that imitate Reo's voice. I love his laughs so much 😂 He sounds like a very fun person to hang with 😂 i love his voice too. If anything, i like his voice more than Yuuma lolllll don't hate meee 😭 i love Yuuma's singing voice but his talking voice is really just too ordinary to me... I still love Yuuma ok, just that Kamui's voice is more unique lol... Then there's Raki. He imitate Chigiri's voice, so of course i love him lol and not to mention his voice imitation of Chigiri is really good too.. 

Like i said before , i fell for Kamui first, so i watched Kamui's videos only lol.. As i browse his videos, i found out that Raki is also doing Yuji's voice (jjk),..  I was too used to his Chigiri voice, i kinda pick up Chigiri's voice when he's doing Yuji's voice. In fact, i still do it when i listen to Raki..  This is the major difference of how i hear Kamui's and Raki's voice. Kamui's voice is more unique, so i remember his voice as his own voice instead of Reo's voice. As for Raki, I'm not saying his voice is not unique, but his voice imitation of Chigiri's voice is too good, that i automatically remember Chigiri when i hear Raki's voice.. Lol this is really confusing to read.. Especially it also involves the real seiyuu voice too lol anyways main point is i love Kamui and Raki 😂

Back to the part when i found out that Raki also doing Yuji's voice. It was the Super Bunny man video. That video is just so funny it made me like Raki as well 😂 Kamui and Raki laughs sounds the same it's so cute 😂😂 i don't know if i unconscious like them coz they imitate Yuuma's and Soma's characters lol... But yeah I'm really happy to see their interactions lol... 

I don't know what to write anymore lol so bye 

Random talk session 308: Nagi part 2

Hello diary

Today is 22nd Aug 

Erm i wanna talk about nagi lol before i forget 

My first impression about Nagi is,.. Ermm.. i think i said it before, when he first appeared, i just thought, "oh, it's Shimazaki!" (voice) lol i think i was really enjoying the anime, i didn't think about my fav or something. But as the anime progress, i begin to really like Nagi lol After finishing the anime, the parts i goes back to rewatch is only Nagi's parts.. I really don't remember how the heck did i even begin to really love him lol when he awakens? When he chose to join isagi team? When he was being cute with Chigiri? When i found out that he's 190cm?? I don't remember lol 

Ah i don't know what else to write!! 

Nagi i love you!!! 

Ok that's all lol until next time 

Random talk session 307: Shimazaki Nobunaga

Hello 

It's 20th August

I am listening to Free songs,.. 

I can never hear Shimazaki's voice in the songs.. Lol

Until Nagi come around lol i still have to carefully listen to his voice though 

That moment when i realise that just like with Yuuma, i thought Shimazaki's talking voice was very generic lol i can't hear Shimazaki voice at all when i listen to Style Five songs lol it has been like that for years lol There was also the time when i didn't even realise Sakurai (kurobasu) was voice by Shimazaki! Ermmm oh i was lookin at my old twitter, and i said i develop a soft spot for Shimazaki's voice bcoz of Baki lol but the moment i recognise his voice, I'm not very sure, but most probably from Handa-kun??? But i also strongly remember he was the lead guy in Parasyte lol i forgot his name lol start with s? Lol *goes to Google* shinichi lol almost 😂  he's also Kaido in the Saiki anime lol erm what else.... 

Anyways.. About this guy lol when I was in my seiyuu phase, i didn't really watch him much.. I remember him as the person that voice Haruka coz of the free seiyuu event lol 

And for some reason i remember his marriage news lol 

Ermm... What more i can say lol.. 

*break*

.... I was watching Shimazaki's video... 

Remember this date: 20th August 2024..

My feeling about Shimazaki Nobunaga. 

I really beginning to like him as person, and not just the voice lolllll damn.. Now i even feel like checking his other videos hellpppp I don't help time for that lol i wanna hear Full Throttle4 songs lol 

ANYWAYS.. i miss Nagi lol

Don't know what else to write lol 

Until next time 

Random talk session 306: seiyuu talk

Hello diary

Today iz 19th August 

Last time i was obsessing over Blue Lock chara songs, but now, I've shifted to Full Throttle4 songs lolzz I'm so obsessed! it's just like when i start fangirling jozan. The first thing i do when i wake up, is to listen to Full Throttle4 songs lolll i didn't even do this to Blue Lock songs lolll i think I have listen to the songs for thousands times lolll i can't get enough omg it's so addicting!!! I can't move on hellppppp How did i even end up listening to the songs? Here's the story.

So, in the last post, i said i was listening to the song with Soma and Yuuma (last time i call him Uchida lol but i want to change this now before.. Before.. Before what??? Huh?? Before i fall more in love with him of course lolzzzz well, we don't know what will happened so erm whatever lol anyway yeah like I said, i really love the way Yuuma sings, and wanted to hear more of him singing (with Soma lol..). I searched the group call Full Throttle4, and listen to the songs......damn it's so good.. The songs so good..,no let me rephrase it, Yuuma & Soma singing voice is so good... Let me just say this, whoever that thought of making them singing together is a genius....  I love it so much... Ok.. That is what's happening now, but the real reason for this post was i wanna talk about Uchida Yuuma lol

This guy. I start to recognise his voice from Reo. Before i know of his name, i call him Reo's voice lol Honestly, his talking voice didn't leave much that much impression to me. I was attracted to his singing voice instead... Since i suddenly taken an interest in him, i start to trace my memory about him lol. I've heard Uchida Yuuma name before but just never care lol i know he's the brother of Uchida Maaya. I know about Uchida Maaya becoz of Noragami. Also, Yuuma was also gonna voice Ryota's character in Battle of Tokyo. That's my strongest memory of Yuuma lol After doing more research, i found out that he is Sakura from the Wind Breaker anime.. My impression about Sakura, he's cute and all but that's it lol I also found out Yuuma is Megumi's voice (jujutsu kaisen)... I remember thinking how generic is this character voice is jdkdjjd I love voices, so i have a tendency to remember a voice, especially if it's the main character. Jujutsu Kaisen made me take notice of Junya Enoki voice too.I remember thinking Enoki being in so many animes lol But, strangely, i didn't even realise Sakura's voice was Reo's voice... More over, i watched Blue Lock not too long after i watch Wind Breaker..  Ermm this make me wanna talk about the other seiyuu too lol maybe next post coz now i wanna talk about Yuuma lol Yuuma is also Ramune's voice, the strange disease anime lol i forgot the title lol.. Strangely i remember Ramune's voice?? How to say, like, when i read Yuuma's other roles, and saw Ramune, i can hear Yuuma's voice??? But when i try to remember Megumi, i can't remember at all how did he sound like... For Sakura, it's kinda feint....  I can say i can recognise his voice but i still haven't found that 'grip' feeling,.. Just like Shimazaki lol i only found the 'grip' this year even though i already know his voice for more than 10 years...   Lol... Ahhh i m getting sleepy.. Don't remember what else i wanna talk lol 

Oh ok i have to write this before i forget - 

My obsession over Yuuma's voice is real, so much that I'm checking if he has tour dates so i can go lollll

Ugh im so sleepy now 

Until next time! Bye yo 

Random talk session 305: Nagi

Hello diary

Today is 17th August 

I have to make this post lol

Have to let these feelings out lol 

Anyway let me start from the beginning

Coz there's nothing new from jozan, i was so bored, so i start watching anime again 

I watched the grandparents turns young anime lol which is good lol i cried at lot at the episodes lol 

I also watched Kaiju no. 8 which is also good. Nothing much i can say coz something happened obviously lol which i will get to 

I watched Wind Breaker. So good too lol, and i cried so much lol I don't know why I'm so easy to cry recently whenever I watch anime lol Sakura is so cute lol but i think my fav is Umemiya? (I forgot his name lol) it's the guy that Nakamura voiced lol then there's Suoh lol ugh it's Shimazaki's voice ugh this guy i swear. This guy was stirring my heart without me knowing lol I think the starting point was when i heard his voice in Mashle.. It's like, i can finally hear his voice?? (i can always recognise his voice of course, but i finally hear that uniqueness (?) of his voice) So Souh kinda become my fav character i guess? Lol 

After that, i watch Blue Lock.. Yes.. This is the anime that change me. It's so veryyyy good!! I remember i told myself that I'm never gonna watch sport anime again lol but since i don't have anything else to watch, i just went and watch it.. It's so good like Wind breaker and Kaiju no. 8. The difference this time, is i have a fav character that i really, really love.. My fav character in the beginning was Chigiri lol (coz it's Soma's voice lol and he's so beautiful lol). There's soo many familiar voices in this anime, and also many voices that I don't recognise. Then Nagi appeared.. Shimazaki's voice.. At the beginning, i don't feel much about this character lol coz Chigiri was holding my heart maybe? lol After more episodes, suddenly.. I find myself liking Nagi more lollllz sorry Chigiri lol i was obsessed with Nagi lol After finishing Blue Lock, i would always rewatch episodes that have Nagi lol i love Nagi so much.. Nagi is so cute.. My best boy.. I love Nagi.. I don't even watch tiktok or jozan anymore coz of him lol.. I'm just all Nagi.. One more thing about Blue Lock, i didn't cry watching it lol it's funny coz i cried at the other anime, but not Blue Lock. When i started the anime, i was ready to cry (sport anime always makes me feels emotional lol and that was kinda the reason i don't want to watch sport anime anymore lol). i was obsessed with Nagi, but I still wanna watch more anime,.. I watch a few, but nothing had impact like Blue Lock did to me..  I was bored again lol.. So, one day, i rewatch Kurobasu lol i miss kurobasu! Really, but actually the real reason was coz i wanted to hear Shimazaki voice as Sakurai lollllll seeee, it's not that i want to rewatch kurobasu, i want to hear Shimazaki voice actually. That is how much i miss Nagi! I want to hear his voice! (i can just watch Shimazaki right? But nope, i don't want to see the person, i just want to hear his voice... Weird,i know..).. Ok.. So i rewatch kurobasu lol i cried so much lol i already know what happened but i still cry lol Side note to remember, i suddenly become a fan of AoKaga ship after that rewatch lol ok back to the main story..  I also rewatch / relisten to kurobasu character songs. I listen to Aomine school song which is sooooo funny, 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣  Shimazaki sound sooooo sweet when he sings as Sakurai 😭💕😭💕😭 Shimazaki kono yaro!!! Of course that made me wanna hear he sings as Nagi! So i clicked the link and omg i tell you, i screamed silently. This feeling omg i don't even know how to describe it. When was the last time i feel that? when i hear jozan songs of course lol ughhh omg the song sooo good!! It just makes me love nagi more (not Shimazaki. Lol) it's so Nagi!! I'm so happy that Shimazaki use his Nagi voice 😭😭😭 it's so nagi 😭😭 nagiiii i love youuu!!! I listen to the song so many times that even i feel sick of it lol long story short, i also listen to the other blue lock character songs. Soma sounds so good lol but that's where the difference is. Like, i hear Soma, i don't hear Chigiri 😂 but when i listen to Nagi song, i hear Nagi, not Shimazaki lol i guess i love Nagi more than the voice? But that's kinda wrong too.. I thought i like his voice...? That's for another discussion lol anyways... I repeated Nagi song so much, that i started to notice Reo's voice,... Uchida Yuma..  He has a good singing voice.. Soma also has a good singing voice, suddenly my mind : i want to hear Uchida & Soma songs lolllll (at first i was lookin for Shimazaki & Soma song but it doesn't exist? Nah, i didn't search much 😂) in a way, Uchida Yuma is really something to distract me from Nagi 😂

Ok finally we are getting close to what is happening now lol I'm currently repeating Uchida and Soma songs (and Shimazaki too, coz it's a group song. Funnily enough, I'm more into Uchida & Soma voice.. That's bcoz Shimazaki is not using his Nagi voice lol.. See how complicated is this feeling.. BTW Sakura's voice in Wind Breaker is Uchida lol...

Ermm.. What else to say lol.. Actually i still have a lot i want yo write but this post already so long.. Beside, i want to hear Nagi song and Uchida and Soma songs lol

Until the next time 

Random Talk Session 304

Hello diary.. It's 23rd July, Tuesday.

Update on fandom lol my jozan phase kinda has fade out lol.. Not even a year lollll well, this is what happens when there's nothing new... 

Since there's nothing jozan related to watch, i begin to watch anime again.

Yesterday i finish watching Undead Unluck. Omg Rip is so handsome lolllll i had always like him coz it's kaji's voice but omg when he change back to his adult body, and he suddenly become a good guy, I screamed lollllll it's his freakin clothes ok lollll 

Last time it was Shen's outfit lol seriously, i love how this author draws guys' outfit 😂😂 

So sexy lollll i kid you not i was so obsessed with this picture lollll 

Ermmm i want to post more pictures, but it's so hard to upload picture using mobile post.. So i guess that's it for today lol i love Rip 😂😂 i love, love him so much i just had to make this post ok so i will remember 😂😂 

also, hearing Rip being sad breaks my heart coz it's also Eren's voice. I miss Eren 😭😭😭😭 My babbbyy!! 😭😭 

Ok ok bye for real now

Random talk session 303

 Hello diary

Today is 13th march. It's Wednesday. 

These days.. 

As always, I'm still in jozan mood. But not as obsessive 😂😂

Anyhow,.. I think of myself as zizan fan, but as i watch more jozan videos, i think i like johan more 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 ahhhhh apasal la ko dh kawen johan 😭😭😭😭 i feel uncomfortable to have such deep feeling for him coz he's married 🤣🤣🤣

I love johan!! Johan!! If only you can see this blog!! I want you to know, that you are such a sun in my life!!!, i love you so strong lol

That's all lol bye

Random talk session 302: johan

 Hello diary

Today is 2nd of Feb. Friday. 

Jozan obsession still going lol

There's nothing new, so I'm just repeating old videos 🥲

I'm sad that i will definitely get bore of it... maybe in 3 months lol or maybe a year lol i just hope i get to see them by then lol 

Anyways 

Really cannot process my feelings about johan lol i feel so shy to even watch him on video... I'll be going to KL next week, and I'm thinking about going to his kedai makan to get a chance of seeing him. ,but the more i think about it, the more shy i feel. Also, his kedai is new, and is viral, so it's always full, it will feel awkward to go alone 😭

Ahh johan is so cute but I'm so intimidated by him lol i think it's the same felling i have for Reo 😂😂

Eemmm... Dunno what else to write.. So that's it for today.. 

Bye2 

Random talk session 301: jozan

 Hello diary. 

Today is 18.01.2024 Thursday.

I'm still crazy about jozan lol

Everytime I wake up, the 1st thing i want to see is jozan moments lol Even when I was obsessed with GENE, i didnt do that.. well actually i open up twitter first 😂

Anyways... The past days, I'm only watching jozan moments... They are really so sweet.. I can't get enough of it.. 

I'm so sad coz now there's no more jozan. Fans always ask for them comeback, but even if they do it, it's just not gonna be the same.. 

Ahh.. I love jozan so much.. Can't believe i can feel like this towards Malaysian artists 😂  

Anyways I'm so glad i found jozan..  I was able to be a fangirl again.. 

Let me say this 

About johan. I like johan. He's so cute 🤣🤣🤣 💕💕💕and i like him better when he's chubby 🤣🤣🤣💕💕💕 his smile is sooooo cuteeee 😭💕😭💕😭💕😭

I was so heart broken when i found out that he's married lol that's why i cannot watch his other videos.. 🥲 

Edited( 22th January.)

About the last statement, coz nowadays i watched more of zizan videos, i become more of zizan fan lolll I but i still think johan is cuter 🤭

End of edit 

Ermm no more idea lol so bye 

Random talk session 300: omg it has been forever..

Hello diary.. 

Today is 13th January 2024 Saturday...

Last post, was in 2018.. 6 years ago...

Back coz i need a place to meluahkan this perasaan 😂

My blogspot last post was in 2018, that time, i was still using tumblr, but in 2019 i completely abandon tumblr to use twitter 😂 

And now back to blogspot again 😂

I need to record this feelings I'm feeling 😂

The last blogspot post is about my heart break coz of Alan's scandal. After a few months, i actually manage to recover lol and in 2019, i fully migrated to twitter to fangirl about alan and gene.. I was really obsessed lol.. I went to Japan and spend lots of money to watch their concerts. Until finally at the end of 2023, i guess i kinda, lost interest in both alan and gene.. Honestly, i still miss Alan a lot, but gene really makes me feel angry.. That's why, i decided to stop reading my twitter timeline...  Ok, i do have a private account where i follow ldh fans, but not gene fans.. I really can't stand reading gene posts...  It makes me mad.. 

So coz i don't watch any gene or alan related things, i started to watch seiyuu stuffs again. For a brief moment, it filled my time, but it's just not the same lol... Maybe little bit of Nakamura lol.. Now that i think of it, it's always him lol i remember in 2012, i was in the middle of fangirling Nakamura too before i switch to one direction 😂😂😂

One day, i was on tiktok..  Suddenly i came across senario contents.  I was feeling nostalgic, so i went to watch more of senario clips... I remember how i really love wahid when i was a teenager lolsss i was in senario nostalgia phase for a week or so. I listen to their old songs and watch their clips everyday. Maybe coz i watch lots of senario contents, jozan clips suddenly appeared on my tiktok fyp. It was the school sketsa. I have watched this sketsa before, long time ago, like in 2014 or 2015 or so

Days after that, I was bored, i want to watch something funny, so i decided to watch that jozan school sketsa clip again.  I search on YouTube, and found it. It was as funny as i remember. And then, how shock when i learn there was actually a continuation to the video that i watch 😂😂😂

Anyways so i watch the continuation, and it was really funny 😂😂

Ok,  my memory kinda in jumble right now, like what actually happened that i went to watch jozan other clips too? Coz it was funny??😂😂

Like i seriously can't remember.. Before i know it, i was repeating the lawak ker der & ombak rindu episodes for soo soo soo many times. Omg even i think I'm crazy. I watch the clip before i go to sleep. The moment i wake up, i watch that clip..at work, i watch it again. Like, it's the only thing i watch. I don't even watch my anime lol i even ignore twitter and Instagram coz i just wanna watch jozan... Omg seriously i have not felt like this for a long time. To feel overly obsessed over something again 😂😂 i feel like i actually can finally forgot Alan for good.. Sad, but true..  The past few days, I'm just thinking about jozan.. 

There's so many i wanna write about jozan but now i just wanna watch more jozan 😂 

Actually my feeling was even waaayyyy more intense few days ago, but only now I've calm down a bit, so i decided to record this feelings before i forget. 

I wonder how long this obsession will last though lol..  

Ok i wanna talk little bit of my history with jozan. I remember watching raja lawak. My fav was nabil 😂 I think i also like jozan but at that time, I was too obsessed with japan, so i didn't really care about local artists lol 

Don't have any idea so i guess that's it 😂😂

Bye2 

Random talk session 299: Heartbroken

Hello diary

Today is 25th april...

Sad to say.. I m so sad. It has since yesterday.  In another words, i m heartbroken.. Ahhh... I m so so sad.. I want to cry..

Alan..  And his scandal..  Why wouldn't he just date a normal person??? Whyyy???  He is surrounded by so many cute girls in the company (like e girls) and his co star,  like Nagano Mei,  but why must be go for the ones he dont supposed to fall in love with!! Not to mention, FOR THE 2ND TIME!! AHHH IT MAKES ME SO MAD!! I know it is not fault, i m trying so hard to defend him from myself. I want to hate him so much, i want to forget him. And yet, there is another side of me, telling myself that i shouldnt blame him for what happened.. if he is at fault for falling in love with someone he shouldn't have, then, i am at fault too, coz i also fell in love with him.. me, who has closed my heart to anyone, but he still managed to get through and sneaked into my heart... and i accepted him... he became the light of my life..

i am so affected by this, coz he is my bias. i never admit it, but ok, here, i m gonna say it, he is my ultimate bias. If he was not part of Gene, i think i will never get into the group at all. I am so charmed by him.. I think, deep down, i knew he was gonna be a heart breaker, so i tried to find someone that i can love more than him... and i unconsciously, choose Ryuto..  For his birthday December last year, i made a Ryuto post everyday. so, i was watching more Ryuto than Alan.. at one point, i was questioning myself, "Do i love Ryuto more than Alan now??? What if i go to another concert, i wonder which one i will choose to look at???" Coz, last time, it was totally Alan, i cant get my eyes off of him at all.. and finally, during their China Tour, that i was able to go to, i got the answer. Alan is still magic after all. For the opening, i looked at Ryuto first, i cant stop staring at him.. but then i saw Alan, and then, my eyes just on him. Even though, Ryuto is much easier to watch from where i am, i still looked at Alan...

i guess, there is a reason, why my theme song for Alan is "Love You More" i will always love him more... as for Ryuto, his theme song is "Always with You" coz i want to be with him always.. even though my love is for alan?? lol!! ahh.. my feelings are so complicated... watching Alan now is just so hard for me.. it makes me so sad.. so i have stopped watching Gene videos... i dunno when will i recover from this... maybe until he updates? who knows... even if he updates, can i overcome this sadness in my heart? i guess we will have to wait and see..

Alan... i still love you so much...but it is so hard to see you..

ok diary.. until next time..

Random talk session 298: Mad Cyclone China Tour

hello diary! today is 26th april. and this is my very very very delayed update on my China trip for Mad Cyclone Tour~

so, i wrote this a month or so ago,but only publishing it on April..

like i said before, i manage to go to the Shezen show. There were too many hardship that i went through, that i dont feel like doing a report. Dont get me wrong though, the live was one of the best moment in my life, but the things i had to went through to, is also one of the worst experience of my life..

the very first problem i had was getting tickets. As i m not from China and i dont have any friends or relatives in China, how can i buy the tickets??? Out of desperation, i messaged someone on Instagram, and asked her to help me to buy tickets, in which she agree, thank you random girl! But, sadly, she couldnt get for me tickets for any of the shows! i was soooo devastated!! i totally underestimated the chinese fans... they were too many of them... But then, this girl, recommend me to buy from Taobao (it is like a 3rd seller).. so, i, who just wanted to secure a ticket and dont even care of the possibility of the tickets being fake (fraud seller) just went and bought 1 ticket. Since i cant read the chinese text, i had my boss helped me to buy it lol!!! so.. i finally got ticket.. then i also booked flight ticket to Shenzen... a few days later, suddenly i had a change of mind, and want to buy another show.. and i did.. lol.. i bought the 3rd march show... (before this, i bought the 2nd march show).  of course, becoz of this, i had to buy new flight  ticket again... and then, like less than a week of the show, i face another problem, and that is, address to send the tickets to.. thankfully, i kinda remember the instagram girl, so i use her address..  and finally... i got the damn tickets.. seriously, i was crying in the night thinking what if the tickets wont come in time??? ahh i was so stressed..  and this was just the process of getting the tickets.. not to mention, communicating with the 3rd seller person was sooo hard coz he didn't understand english! i had to use google translate to communicate with him.. it was also, so stressful lol

in the end i finally got the tickets.. 2nd march and 3rd march show!

and then, the day i was supposed to go to shenzen, i cant board my flight coz i didnt have visa!!! i was busy worrying about the live ticket i absolutely forgot the most important thing, to apply for visa!!! i was sooooo devastated omg just remembering this makes me so sad i m crying while typing this… after everything i went through to get the  tickets for the live, but i cant go to China!!!!!!!! and for visa application, i need at least 4 days.

greatly disapointed, i went home on a 12 hour bus trip… and still googling on getting express visa, and i found out that i can get to Shenzen via Hong Kong, as they have a special Visa on Arrival, which i can get immediately..  i had to google all the information i had to know where and how to get the visa and also the flights, with my lousy old phone which has less than 50% battery, in a bus, at 3 in the morning. At times, i was like, can i go? will i go? i was still debating with myself… finally i arrive home, and took the taxi from the bus terminal to the airport. Ah, i cant let it end it just like that, i went and bought last minute flight to Kuala Lumpur and then Kuala Lumpur to Hong Kong.  I still remember the face of the guy at the AirAsia ticket counter when i said i want to buy last minute ticket to Hong Kong (the flight is like in 4 hours). He asked, “Why??” i didnt answer, but in my head, i was like, “i m chasing the loves of my life…”  anyway… finally i was at hong kong, and my last hurdle. To get the visa on arrival, which is not 100% guarantee, since the Shenzen imigration still can deny my application… everything is still up to luck to the very last minute!!!!!!! like, what if my application get rejected and i got send back to hong kong??????????? oh my god.. why does it is so hard for me to see them… i just wanna see my babies… I got to the visa office at about 10pm.. i filled in the application form, and waited for the officer to call me… and finally, finally, the visa is on my passport!!!!!!! i can finally go to shenzen. finally.. .bcoz of all these, i missed the first show that i bought. and only manage to go to the 3.3 show..

onto to the reports..

okay, the venue is Shenzhen Poly Theatre

My seats were in the 3rd row.. on Mandy’s side.. (Stage) Position wise, when they were performing, Reo is usually right in front of me…

What to say lol… i dont usually write reports…

The set list is the same with Mad Cyclone tour in Japan, except Big City Rodeo, which was included in the set list, and not sung during encore.

okay here are some things..

MC part, i dont really understand them, coz they were talking in Chinese!

- Hayato making fun of Ryuto (also, it was a Chinese word that i dont understand… Hayato was repeating it over and over lol)

- Reo forgot how to say his speech in Chinese lol.. he turned his back on us, (possibly reading on his notes..lol reo sooo cutee!!)

High five part
- most memorable part is Ryota.. coz he was looking at me soo intensely! lol..i was just high five-ing Reo, and was gonna see him, but he was already looking so hard at me lol.. this guy, thank goodness, i m not that really into him, i would be so dead if i was lol...
- i was calling out there name one by one lol!!!
- i dont remember Ryuto and Alan session at all.. my mind was totally shutting downn ahhhhh
- finally snapped at hayato's high five, coz he was so loud! lol!!

and finally the show end.. ahhh... it was one of the best day of my life... to see my dearest.. in such a close distance.. and to high five them.. ahh.. i will remember this moment forever..

additional post:

Memory of Mad Cyclone
Last year, when i watched the song live at Saitama Super Arena, the moment the song started playing, and the big screen (??) thingy lifted up, and i saw Gene with my own eyes for the first time, heard Ryuto for the first time, oh my god. What a feeling.. To hear Ryuto’s voice live.. and the first person that i went to look for is.. Alan.. And i think my eyes was on him for the whole minute..  until i finally look at the others..



fast forward to 8 months later, when i went to Shenzen to watch them again, and as usual, it start with Mad Cyclone. Song started, and once again, to hear Ryuto’s voice live omg and at a much closer range omg i was really dying, my hand on my mouth, and i was rocking back and forth, i feel like vomiting coz i was too overwhelmed.. This time, my eyes were on Ryuto for a whole minute lol.. until.. i finally decided to look for Alan and i saw. omg.. nope. He is still magic after all. From my seat, the person in front of me is Reo. After watching Alan for like 2 or 3 minutes and my neck got kinda hurt from looking to the side too much, i finally look to the front, and saw Reo lol… So, Reo is part of my Mad Cyclone memory too now..



ok.. i think that is for my report.. bye!

Random talk session 297: 2018

helo diary! it is 28 january 2018! omg i m sorry i m so late.. 

it is 2018.. and marks the 10 years i hav been writing on blogspot.... 

i dont really write here anymore, but.. i still need to do the yearly meme lol

What fandoms did you acquire in 2017?

GENERATIONS FROM EXILE TRIBE

- OMG i m so obsessed wit them now!!!!!!!!!!! i just cant!!!! i love them so much i wanna explode!!! i should not be fangirling anymore, but yet, here i am, i cant believe it.. these guys manage to thaw my ice cold heart.. i was so tired of jpop and idols... i just wanna fangirling voices and anime characters.. i hate real life people... 

What fandoms did you let go of in 2017?

- bcoz of my new obsession, i have let go of most of the previous fandom! i dont watch supernatural anymore... heck, i m watching nothing! anime, series, movie, nothing at all!!! i just wanna watch Gene.. i m suffering so much!!!!!!!!!

What fandoms do you intend on checking out in 2018?

- NONE! coz i m still so freakin obsessed with Gene!!!!!!!!! OMG HELP ME

ok.. i need to tell the story of this.. so, yeah, i have been wanting for a world tour since last year.. sadly, none, but they got China tour! and of course i was overjoyed when i heard the news! my hands were trembling!! i was planning to go to all shows! lol.. but of course, i was too naive. Little did i know.. the hardship of getting tickets.. .it is like a roller coaster ride.. my feels.. i am so sad and depressed now bcoz of it.. i feel like i wish i dint even know them... this feels is so heavy.. i m so so very sad... 

it kinda hurts to remember it again... but oh well, i need to record this event... 

so after i found out about the tour, i checked out various things. to prepare for the trip. i searched for flight tickets, accommodation and transportation.. then, the ticketing site finally opened.. and i saw "payment only by Alipay and wechat paymant" and i was like.. omg no debit card???? ahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so i opened up Alipay, and made an account, but it seems without a bank account in China, cant make transaction.. ahhhhhh GETTING TICKET IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME. Out of desperation, i message this girl from Instagram, she's from China, and ask for her to buy for me. And she agreed to help!!! What a nice girl!! Thank you random girl! Next, on the day of ticket sales, the battle begun!!!!!!!!! and I LOST AHHH I M SO SADDDDD OK TO SHORTEN. SHE COULDNT GET TICKETS TO ANY OF THE SHOWS I M SOOOOO SADDDDDDDDDD I WANNA CRYYYY THEN SHE RECOMMENDED THIS RESELLER ON TAOBAO, AND BCOZ I JUST DONT CARE ANYMORE I WENT AND BOUGHT THE RESELLER TICKETS AT MUCH HIGHER PRICE I DONT CARE THAT I GET SCAM I JUST WANNA TRY EVERYTHING SO THAT I WONT REGRET MY LIFE LATER 

so yeah... actually more story to it.. but i kinda dont hav the mood to write it here.. it makes me too sad.. everyday i m woken up to this sadness... i feel miserable..  i cant wait for the ticket to arrive so i can end this misery... 

ahhhh i hate this... i wanna stop now.. i cant.. 

bye..

Random talk session 296: 2017 is almost over..

hello diary! today is 30/12/2017

quite a long time huh.. well, i was quite busy with my tumblr lol.. the same thing that happen in 2015... when i was busy posting my seiyuu posts on tumblr, i didnt write much here in blogspot..

anyway... ermm.. i seriously dunno what to write.. oh,  maybe i'll talk about ryuto a bit.. since it was his birthday 2 days ago.. ryuto is 25~ aww... this crazy muscle man is 25.. congrats ryuto... i love him so much now.. even more than alan maybe? that is why i will never say my bias, coz it will definitely change lol.. but i m not saying ryuto is my bias now of course.. i dont hav ultimate bias anyway.. i can say, these 2 are my top 2 though.. at the beginning, i admit, i am more into alan, but now, i feel like the feels is more towards ryuto lol shhhhssshh dont let the tumblr people know of this! lol 

anyway.. yeah, ryuto.. i guess, bcoz of his family history, i admit i kinda hav soft spot for him lol... i dunno why i tend to be savage to people i like now lol.. must be influence from the internet.. but not (much) to ryuto lol... he can be so crazy at times, and i only can facepalm at his antics lol

ermm.. what else? lol.. 

ermm... oh yeah.. gene dome tour!! ahhh.. i m happy for them, but i wish for a world tour more!! i want to see them more closer!! i will go to the dome tour too as well, but i just want to see them more closer, and dome is too far!! ahhh.. i m still hoping though.. even if it's only 4 or 5 shows, please make it happen hiro-san!!! i love gene so much!!! i havent felt this way, since news.. aiiihh..

ok that is all for today? this is gonna be the last entry of this year!! good bye 2017 hello 2018~ please be good to me!! 

this is one of the first gene pics i saw:

and my impression, i still vividly remembers that "dislike" feeling i had lol.. i was like, "what a bunch of bratty kids" lol and i was like "*shaking my head* NO". and look at me now. like, how did this happened???? 

but still, when i first heard of their world tour, i was like, seriously, thinking about to go to their live, just to check thm out! like, for real, i really did think of buying the tickets! but after a while, my "dislike" kinda took over (coz i was more into sandaime at that time) lol and i was like, "not worth my money" lol... 

ok..bye for real now!! bye2 2017!! 

Random talk session 295: Gene 5th anniversary

Hello diary! today is 21st November! it is a tuesday!

Apparently today is Gene's 5th anniversary.. 5 years huh. That is quite some time. And i have been a fan for only, like 5 months ago? To be honest, i never really got catch up to all the 5 years stuffs..i was looking at tumblr, and there were some gene blog before. But they kinda not active anymore now. While browsing those blogs, at one point, i got so overwhelmed, and had to put my phone down, and i just close my eyes (laying on the bed). There was a sting in my heart. i was on the urge of crying. All those times that i missed. i…. was sad, that i wasnt part of it.. 

erm, i guess i can add more of my life regrets. Why didnt i know them earlier? What did i do these 5 years?? Sure, i got into some fandom, but still.. this happiness of knowing them.. i..

ok, to be honest, they are not the first jpop group that i was obsessed with. But then, over time, i kinda got bored of idols and jpop. i m sick of them. i dun want to fangirl real people again. I was more of a anime person, and fangirling voice yes, it’s a thing years and years past… one day, i was like “ahhh i wanna watch a jdrama, been too long since i watch one” “oh, what about that one show that clamp once drew" and that how i started to watch high and low, and got interest in exile tribe. Long story short, i watched casino exile and saw alan.. and since i need more alan, i went to check his group and here i am now. 

all my time and money is for thm.. in exchange, they made my life better now.. when i was busy working, get irritated at all the works piling up, i’ll just think of them, and suddenly the world is better. When i feel so lazy to work in the mornings, i just think of them, and i get my energy for the day

this may seems like a exaggerations, but i really really love these people so much.. my life was more colorful now that i know of them.. 

i wanna see them..  i miss them so much.. 

ok that is all for today... 

Random talk session 294

hello diary.. today us 30 october 2017... it's almost november.. how time flies..

anyway... october, nothing much. work tiring as usual, but this month extra tire, coz 2 plants were running..  had too checked sample from 2 plants, so double the work.. so tired!! thank goodness, one plant has shut down, so back to normal.. erm... wat else in life?? nothing much.. only fandom matters now... and at tis moment it is generations.. i m so obsessed now..

i pre-order their calender... i mean, a calender that cost rm100++ i mean, even i feel it's ridiculous. but i still buy them anyway.. not to mention, i m buying from proxy, so yeah, more money spend... last time i bought their tour shirt, cost me almost 2 times of the shirt original price.

alan's also releasing his first photo album this november.. of course, i m buying lol damn tis guy.. ok, let's talk bias.. my fav in gene is alan, ryuto and reo. And then there's the anomaly, hayato, the bias wrecker lol alan is my ultimate, but sometimes, when i watched their live, i think i m more drawn into ryuto, coz damn his voice!!!! nghhhhh!!!!!!!!!! like just yesterday, i was watching big city rodeo live performance, ahh ryuto.. ryuto.. ryutoo.. my heart was crying for him!! actually the past days,i feel like i m more into ryuto than alan lol it got me thinking, like who is exactly my no.1 bias???? damn maybe i m favoring alan coz he is the one that got me hooked into the group, so yeah.. i also dunno.. and then there's reo. damn dont get me start on this brat. i'll die for him, i'll even kill ryuto or alan for him lol reo must be protected at all cost!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol see how complicated my bias list is???? lol ahh i dun want to think about it... all i kno they make me happy.. if only i known them sooner... i love them so much..

ok, i wanna talk about otp lol... it is actually alan x hayato.. they are too cute!!! when i first get into the fandom, i kinda notice fans tend to ship these 2.. at first, i was like "eh, why??" i dont understand it at all lol but after watching more genekou and reading some trivia on generations, i finally understand lol.. hayato really adores and respect alan so much, even though alan can be quite unreliable at times lol while alan, he tends to rely on hayato very much, especially when it comes to become the mc of the group.. in the past, the always went to eat together, but in the recent years, not anymore, i guess alan got kinda popular, wit his movies and dramas.. so there was not much free time for them to hang out, just the 2 of them i  mean (they often goes out together as a group though).. but yeah.. hayato x alan for life lol .. oh btw the ship name is hayalan lol what a weird ship name.. japanese fans called them komohama though lol erm, yeah.. hayalan is a cute otp. i really cant wit them.. check out my hayalan tags on tumblr

erm, i think that is all for today?? until next month lol... really, i dunno wat to write here anymore now..

bye~

Random talk session 293

hello diary! today is 20/9/2017... Wednesday..  about 1 hour need to go to work ugh i feel so lazy

anyway.. so yeah... i still like gene? lol like, seriously, how did i come to like these guys.. i am still questioning myself on this.. if there is one thng i m really tired of it is freakin jpop and idols.. like, i can like them casually, and all, but i nvr thought i would get overly obsessed with idols ever again after news.

there is no one else to blame, but freakin shirahama alan guy hiiieeee how did he managed to break this wall in my heart??????  since i wanna see more of him, i had to watch his group too lol damn it gene.. i m too old for them too... one thing i can say about gene is, they are really crazy brats lol... they are kinda similar to kanjani?? becoz of the craziness?? lol but i nvr even interested in kanjani back in the days...  so, it is def not their crazy antique that got me to like them.. what about music then? nothing special also.. ryota sounds like tegoshi to me, for some reason lol.. only ryuto is somewhat sumthing fresh to me. i really like the tone of his speaking voice...

damn.. why do i like gene??? it is not their crazy antique, nor their music or their style??? they just has this charm??? and i am strangely attracted to them?? it is surely one of the mystery of my life..

i guess i m thankful for them, coz my life seems to be colorful again after i get to know them.. real life has been so hard to me last year and beginning of 2017..

i think that is all for today..