Random talk session 143: Life in GEMS part 23

hello diary. today is 29/5/2010. it's saturday.

argh, i simply hate my life. nothing seems to satisfy me except for money... i am always living with fear and anxiety..

life usually dont go according to plan, then why do we still making plan??? continuation of my SEDC story...at first i feel relieved when they said that my placement was gonna be at betong (which is at my hometown). And the next day, i got red eye, and was told to rest at home. so i didnt go for the induction, and who knows, this little act of not going for the induction was the cause of all my anxiety, my concerns. my misery, my sadness, my hardship,etc...arrrgghhhhh.. from my friend, i found out that my placement is at sri aman! but i didnt really believ it and tried to call them the whole day. i dun want to go to sri aman!!! if i cant get my hometown, then i would prefer kuching. but what can i do.. i wanted to call them and ask them to change me to HQ but i couldnt reach the person in charge. so, i just get ready to go back to my hometown.. the next day i finally able to contact her, and i finally get to transfer to HQ. but then, another problem arised. my mother already come to take me home, so i had to go back. and also on my way home, i found out that my friend cant rent the house that i was staying in before this.. i feel like "sudah jatuh ditimpa tangga" so many bad luck.. and that times, i wish i was in sri aman. can u see the irony? before this i really resent to go to sri aman... *sigh* but at that time, i really wish i just accept the offer to go to sri aman...

now, i feel like crying. i hate my week self... why cant i be stronger????

ok..enough of emo-ing, sambung later, i have to write abt what i am worrying so much abt now...

tomoro i will going back to kuch. the van is gonna pick me up at 6:30am. so early, rite? i am worry about tomoro. i wonder abt the new house. i think i dun mind even if the house is buruk, as long i hav place to live for the next 6 months... but then again, maybe i will mind it after all? the place is quite near to my work place though.. the pros and cons are balanced.. *sigh*

and also abt tomoro, how in the world i want to bring my stuffs to that place after i arrived at parkson??? i have too many stuffs! esp the computer. this is one of the times i really really regret for not having a laptop *sigh* i dunno if i should bring my computer tomoro? but if i dun bring it, life gonna be so boring..

and then, another major concern, is about my intern wit SEDC. arrghhh i bet i have made a very bad impression to them?? did i touble them for making me transfer to HQ? i hate to trouble people the most... i rather to be unnoticed.. i should have go to their office last wed (the closing ceremony) and discuss abt my placement with them rather than making it's so sudden like what i did..

and there also this batik day thing... i dun have batik clothes... better buy 1 then..

and also, the MC stuffs... what is that gonna be i wonder. i kno iwill hav to do it soon or later and i am so gonna be so much fail. T_T arghhhh

i hate this..so many things to concerns abt...

and most of all, i feel so sad for having to leave home again... sobs..

to be continue...

Random talk session 142: Life in GEMS part 22

hello diary! today is27/5/2010. it's 12:46 am now.. Thursday..

finish the 2.5 moths indoor course on 12th may. gah, miss my company so much! miss my roommates! miss penview!!!

ah, i was re-reading my past entries about how i really hated to go for the GEMS program, but now i really miss it a lot!

emm..been soooo long since i update.. many things happened, but i forgot.. so i guess, it will only remain in memory and not in this blog lol

ok...about induction in SEDC.

i came for the 1 day only. bcoz i had red eye on the 2nd day! i went to the office, but then i was advised to go to clinic and rest. ah, i feel so lost. thankfully, one of the SEDC staff helped me to go to the clinic. i feel so bad, bcoz i had to trouble him.

emm..so also didnt go for the closing ceremony for the induction. wuu, so sad! i wish i was there..

emm.. ok, so i was place at sri aman! but i dun want! i want to change to HQ. i called SEDC earlier abt this, but they didnt called me back... i want to work at kuch... the internet is quiet fast here, and i also still hav that plan to go karaoke wit my friend!!! wuuu!!! so sad!!! i love kuch..

randoM, one of the non-GEMS intern was kinda cute ahahahaha

ahaha... oh, abt the guy in GEMS... i found his FB. the real one...omg he's 6 years younger than me!!! i feel like a pedophile *slap self* this feeling is sooo wrong!! i should forget him!!! ..but then again darn he' s so cute *_* *stares at pic that i stole form his FB* omg i still love him aarrrrggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

ok, to be continue...