Random talk session 195: "Crush" is a weird feeling

hello diary, today is 14/3/2011.. it's monday..

em.. today i wanna talk about sumthing call "crush"... when i had a crush, i had this feeling, "butterflies in my stomach".. and at times, i even feel want to throw up. At first, i am confuse of this feeling.. When that someone i like is near, or when i think of him, i suddenly feel sick and want to vomit.. I thought i didnt like him anymore, coz, normally, anything that disgust u make u want to throw up right? not the thing that u like.. but then, i look it up on the internet, and turns out it is a normal feeling after all lol

having a crush is a weird sensation, but falling in love must be much more wonderful feeling.. i dunno if i will ever fall in love... all i have all this time is only little crush and tegomasu's song, kataomoi no chiisana koi is my fav theme for my crush LOLOL Here's the translation lyric:

i really love you that I cannot sleep
I just thought that this love will never be
It's because of you, it is all because of you
As I tried to sleep, I just thought of something

Everything 'bout you is so beautiful
As if I cannot reach you after all
I've tried to forget and erase you in my mind
But now you're troubling me from deep inside...

Please tell me if there is an end
To the unrequited love that I am feeling for you...
But please do listen to my plea--feel me in every beat
Of this heart that loves you in a way that's irreversible...

"Are you alright? Does something bother you?"
You asked me one day with a worried face
It's because of you, it is just because of you
But I want to hide everything running in my mind...

Your words are very gentle to my ears
That all of my face couldn't help but blush
How I wish that I could tell you every single thing
That bothers me every now and then...

It's just fine if there is no end
To this unrequited love that I am feeling for you...
Please let me protect this feeling that's very dear for me
But often I can't do anything--
Yes, that is me, indeed...

What if I just told you everything
Then I'll never be able to see you (shining) smile again...
But I'm satisfied to keep this to myself...
This, I'll never regret...

It's just fine if there is no end
To this unrequited love that I am feeling for you...
Please let me protect this feeling that's very dear for me
For I still cannot do anything...

Please tell me if there is an end
To the unrequited love that I am feeling for you...
But please do listen to my plea--feel me in every beat
Of this heart that loves you in a way that's irreversible...

..... been repeating this song for days now LOL My fav part is:
Kono kataomoi ni owari ga nai no nara Sore demo ii Kono kataomoi wo mamotte hoshii Mada nani mo dekinai boku nan desu

XD

............ on a random note, i think i really like Kamiya now LOL just a matter of time until i add him in the official list LOL

Kamiya: i m #1

LOL isnt he's just so preciously cute? XD

dang it, and now, i also think that Nakamura guy is not bad XDDD how many seiyuu would i fall for??? they all are so.... charming XD emm... i think that's all from me today.. until next time! bye..

Random talk session 194: Depress!!

hello diary! today is 11/3/2011.. Hisashiburi!!! Quite a while since i update.. well, i have been busy coz of my new job and i feel so lazy to reload my broadband..

anyway, yeah, like i said, really been a while, and there are lots of things happened that i didnt managed to blog in.. so many things actually..

i am now at bintulu.. precisely at the GT Plywood quarters... been here for about 2 weeks..

anyway, to make it very short, i feel depressed working in the lab.. i has forgot everything i've learned in university.. i cant do the analysis.. to sum up, i suck so bad!!! aarghhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hate myself.. seriously. i cant do anything right.. arrghhh!! i feel so frustrated..

aii, enough of that.. next, is about.. my new kataomoi LOL so yeah, atarashii no kataomoi ga mitsuketanda.. LOL new place, new kataomoi, how typical of my life.. anyway.. there's a bit story on it, so before i forgot, i want to wrte about it..

it started on the first day that i went to the.. that place lol... And, soko de, ano hito ga iru.. at first, i dun think of anything towards aitsu, demo.. when anohito watashi ni hanashita, i think that was the time that i starts to.. u kno, koi wo hajimeru?? LOL haiya, it's so hard to tell the story wit my random japanese wording lol

and after the 2 weeks, today i got the infamous feel like throwing up when i think of anohito.. LOL

emm... i think that's it for today.. actually there are lots of things i want to write, but somehow, i dunno how to lol