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March 13, 2024

Random talk session 303

 Hello diary


Today is 13th march. It's Wednesday. 


These days.. 


As always, I'm still in jozan mood. But not as obsessive πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚


Anyhow,.. I think of myself as zizan fan, but as i watch more jozan videos, i think i like johan more 🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣 ahhhhh apasal la ko dh kawen johan 😭😭😭😭 i feel uncomfortable to have such deep feeling for him coz he's married 🀣🀣🀣

I love johan!! Johan!! If only you can see this blog!! I want you to know, that you are such a sun in my life!!!, i love you so strong lol

That's all lol bye

February 02, 2024

Random talk session 302: johan

 Hello diary


Today is 2nd of Feb. Friday. 


Jozan obsession still going lol


There's nothing new, so I'm just repeating old videos πŸ₯²


I'm sad that i will definitely get bore of it... maybe in 3 months lol or maybe a year lol i just hope i get to see them by then lol 


Anyways 


Really cannot process my feelings about johan lol i feel so shy to even watch him on video... I'll be going to KL next week, and I'm thinking about going to his kedai makan to get a chance of seeing him. ,but the more i think about it, the more shy i feel. Also, his kedai is new, and is viral, so it's always full, it will feel awkward to go alone 😭

Ahh johan is so cute but I'm so intimidated by him lol i think it's the same felling i have for Reo πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚


Eemmm... Dunno what else to write.. So that's it for today.. 


Bye2 

January 18, 2024

Random talk session 301: jozan

 Hello diary. 

Today is 18.01.2024 Thursday.


I'm still crazy about jozan lol

Everytime I wake up, the 1st thing i want to see is jozan moments lol Even when I was obsessed with GENE, i didnt do that.. well actually i open up twitter first πŸ˜‚

Anyways... The past days, I'm only watching jozan moments... They are really so sweet.. I can't get enough of it.. 

I'm so sad coz now there's no more jozan. Fans always ask for them comeback, but even if they do it, it's just not gonna be the same.. 

Ahh.. I love jozan so much.. Can't believe i can feel like this towards Malaysian artists πŸ˜‚  

Anyways I'm so glad i found jozan..  I was able to be a fangirl again.. 

Let me say this 

About johan. I like johan. He's so cute 🀣🀣🀣 πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•and i like him better when he's chubby πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’• his smile is sooooo cuteeee πŸ˜­πŸ’•πŸ˜­πŸ’•πŸ˜­πŸ’•πŸ˜­

I was so heart broken when i found out that he's married lol that's why i cannot watch his other videos.. πŸ₯² 


Edited( 22th January.)


About the last statement, coz nowadays i watched more of zizan videos, i become more of zizan fan lolll I but i still think johan is cuter 🀭



End of edit 


Ermm no more idea lol so bye 


January 13, 2024

Random talk session 300: omg it has been forever..

Hello diary.. 

Today is 13th January 2024 Saturday...

Last post, was in 2018.. 6 years ago...

Back coz i need a place to meluahkan this perasaan πŸ˜‚


My blogspot last post was in 2018, that time, i was still using tumblr, but in 2019 i completely abandon tumblr to use twitter πŸ˜‚ 


And now back to blogspot again πŸ˜‚


I need to record this feelings I'm feeling πŸ˜‚


The last blogspot post is about my heart break coz of Alan's scandal. After a few months, i actually manage to recover lol and in 2019, i fully migrated to twitter to fangirl about alan and gene.. I was really obsessed lol.. I went to Japan and spend lots of money to watch their concerts. Until finally at the end of 2023, i guess i kinda, lost interest in both alan and gene.. Honestly, i still miss Alan a lot, but gene really makes me feel angry.. That's why, i decided to stop reading my twitter timeline...  Ok, i do have a private account where i follow ldh fans, but not gene fans.. I really can't stand reading gene posts...  It makes me mad.. 

So coz i don't watch any gene or alan related things, i started to watch seiyuu stuffs again. For a brief moment, it filled my time, but it's just not the same lol... Maybe little bit of Nakamura lol.. Now that i think of it, it's always him lol i remember in 2012, i was in the middle of fangirling Nakamura too before i switch to one direction πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

One day, i was on tiktok..  Suddenly i came across senario contents.  I was feeling nostalgic, so i went to watch more of senario clips... I remember how i really love wahid when i was a teenager lolsss i was in senario nostalgia phase for a week or so. I listen to their old songs and watch their clips everyday. Maybe coz i watch lots of senario contents, jozan clips suddenly appeared on my tiktok fyp. It was the school sketsa. I have watched this sketsa before, long time ago, like in 2014 or 2015 or so

Days after that, I was bored, i want to watch something funny, so i decided to watch that jozan school sketsa clip again.  I search on YouTube, and found it. It was as funny as i remember. And then, how shock when i learn there was actually a continuation to the video that i watch πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Anyways so i watch the continuation, and it was really funny πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚


Ok,  my memory kinda in jumble right now, like what actually happened that i went to watch jozan other clips too? Coz it was funny??πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Like i seriously can't remember.. Before i know it, i was repeating the lawak ker der & ombak rindu episodes for soo soo soo many times. Omg even i think I'm crazy. I watch the clip before i go to sleep. The moment i wake up, i watch that clip..at work, i watch it again. Like, it's the only thing i watch. I don't even watch my anime lol i even ignore twitter and Instagram coz i just wanna watch jozan... Omg seriously i have not felt like this for a long time. To feel overly obsessed over something again πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ i feel like i actually can finally forgot Alan for good.. Sad, but true..  The past few days, I'm just thinking about jozan.. 

There's so many i wanna write about jozan but now i just wanna watch more jozan πŸ˜‚ 

Actually my feeling was even waaayyyy more intense few days ago, but only now I've calm down a bit, so i decided to record this feelings before i forget. 

I wonder how long this obsession will last though lol..  


Ok i wanna talk little bit of my history with jozan. I remember watching raja lawak. My fav was nabil πŸ˜‚ I think i also like jozan but at that time, I was too obsessed with japan, so i didn't really care about local artists lol 



Don't have any idea so i guess that's it πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚



Bye2 

April 25, 2018

Random talk session 299: Heartbroken

Hello diary

Today is 25th april...

Sad to say.. I m so sad. It has since yesterday.  In another words, i m heartbroken.. Ahhh... I m so so sad.. I want to cry..

Alan..  And his scandal..  Why wouldn't he just date a normal person??? Whyyy???  He is surrounded by so many cute girls in the company (like e girls) and his co star,  like Nagano Mei,  but why must be go for the ones he dont supposed to fall in love with!! Not to mention, FOR THE 2ND TIME!! AHHH IT MAKES ME SO MAD!! I know it is not fault, i m trying so hard to defend him from myself. I want to hate him so much, i want to forget him. And yet, there is another side of me, telling myself that i shouldnt blame him for what happened.. if he is at fault for falling in love with someone he shouldn't have, then, i am at fault too, coz i also fell in love with him.. me, who has closed my heart to anyone, but he still managed to get through and sneaked into my heart... and i accepted him... he became the light of my life..

i am so affected by this, coz he is my bias. i never admit it, but ok, here, i m gonna say it, he is my ultimate bias. If he was not part of Gene, i think i will never get into the group at all. I am so charmed by him.. I think, deep down, i knew he was gonna be a heart breaker, so i tried to find someone that i can love more than him... and i unconsciously, choose Ryuto..  For his birthday December last year, i made a Ryuto post everyday. so, i was watching more Ryuto than Alan.. at one point, i was questioning myself, "Do i love Ryuto more than Alan now??? What if i go to another concert, i wonder which one i will choose to look at???" Coz, last time, it was totally Alan, i cant get my eyes off of him at all.. and finally, during their China Tour, that i was able to go to, i got the answer. Alan is still magic after all. For the opening, i looked at Ryuto first, i cant stop staring at him.. but then i saw Alan, and then, my eyes just on him. Even though, Ryuto is much easier to watch from where i am, i still looked at Alan...

i guess, there is a reason, why my theme song for Alan is "Love You More" i will always love him more... as for Ryuto, his theme song is "Always with You" coz i want to be with him always.. even though my love is for alan?? lol!! ahh.. my feelings are so complicated... watching Alan now is just so hard for me.. it makes me so sad.. so i have stopped watching Gene videos... i dunno when will i recover from this... maybe until he updates? who knows... even if he updates, can i overcome this sadness in my heart? i guess we will have to wait and see..

Alan... i still love you so much...but it is so hard to see you..

ok diary.. until next time..

April 24, 2018

Random talk session 298: Mad Cyclone China Tour

hello diary! today is 26th april. and this is my very very very delayed update on my China trip for Mad Cyclone Tour~

so, i wrote this a month or so ago,but only publishing it on April..

like i said before, i manage to go to the Shezen show. There were too many hardship that i went through, that i dont feel like doing a report. Dont get me wrong though, the live was one of the best moment in my life, but the things i had to went through to, is also one of the worst experience of my life..

the very first problem i had was getting tickets. As i m not from China and i dont have any friends or relatives in China, how can i buy the tickets??? Out of desperation, i messaged someone on Instagram, and asked her to help me to buy tickets, in which she agree, thank you random girl! But, sadly, she couldnt get for me tickets for any of the shows! i was soooo devastated!! i totally underestimated the chinese fans... they were too many of them... But then, this girl, recommend me to buy from Taobao (it is like a 3rd seller).. so, i, who just wanted to secure a ticket and dont even care of the possibility of the tickets being fake (fraud seller) just went and bought 1 ticket. Since i cant read the chinese text, i had my boss helped me to buy it lol!!! so.. i finally got ticket.. then i also booked flight ticket to Shenzen... a few days later, suddenly i had a change of mind, and want to buy another show.. and i did.. lol.. i bought the 3rd march show... (before this, i bought the 2nd march show).  of course, becoz of this, i had to buy new flight  ticket again... and then, like less than a week of the show, i face another problem, and that is, address to send the tickets to.. thankfully, i kinda remember the instagram girl, so i use her address..  and finally... i got the damn tickets.. seriously, i was crying in the night thinking what if the tickets wont come in time??? ahh i was so stressed..  and this was just the process of getting the tickets.. not to mention, communicating with the 3rd seller person was sooo hard coz he didn't understand english! i had to use google translate to communicate with him.. it was also, so stressful lol

in the end i finally got the tickets.. 2nd march and 3rd march show!

and then, the day i was supposed to go to shenzen, i cant board my flight coz i didnt have visa!!! i was busy worrying about the live ticket i absolutely forgot the most important thing, to apply for visa!!! i was sooooo devastated omg just remembering this makes me so sad i m crying while typing this… after everything i went through to get the  tickets for the live, but i cant go to China!!!!!!!! and for visa application, i need at least 4 days.

greatly disapointed, i went home on a 12 hour bus trip… and still googling on getting express visa, and i found out that i can get to Shenzen via Hong Kong, as they have a special Visa on Arrival, which i can get immediately..  i had to google all the information i had to know where and how to get the visa and also the flights, with my lousy old phone which has less than 50% battery, in a bus, at 3 in the morning. At times, i was like, can i go? will i go? i was still debating with myself… finally i arrive home, and took the taxi from the bus terminal to the airport. Ah, i cant let it end it just like that, i went and bought last minute flight to Kuala Lumpur and then Kuala Lumpur to Hong Kong.  I still remember the face of the guy at the AirAsia ticket counter when i said i want to buy last minute ticket to Hong Kong (the flight is like in 4 hours). He asked, “Why??” i didnt answer, but in my head, i was like, “i m chasing the loves of my life…”  anyway… finally i was at hong kong, and my last hurdle. To get the visa on arrival, which is not 100% guarantee, since the Shenzen imigration still can deny my application… everything is still up to luck to the very last minute!!!!!!! like, what if my application get rejected and i got send back to hong kong??????????? oh my god.. why does it is so hard for me to see them… i just wanna see my babies… I got to the visa office at about 10pm.. i filled in the application form, and waited for the officer to call me… and finally, finally, the visa is on my passport!!!!!!! i can finally go to shenzen. finally.. .bcoz of all these, i missed the first show that i bought. and only manage to go to the 3.3 show..

onto to the reports..

okay, the venue is Shenzhen Poly Theatre

My seats were in the 3rd row.. on Mandy’s side.. (Stage) Position wise, when they were performing, Reo is usually right in front of me…

What to say lol… i dont usually write reports…

The set list is the same with Mad Cyclone tour in Japan, except Big City Rodeo, which was included in the set list, and not sung during encore.

okay here are some things..

MC part, i dont really understand them, coz they were talking in Chinese!

- Hayato making fun of Ryuto (also, it was a Chinese word that i dont understand… Hayato was repeating it over and over lol)

- Reo forgot how to say his speech in Chinese lol.. he turned his back on us, (possibly reading on his notes..lol reo sooo cutee!!)

High five part
- most memorable part is Ryota.. coz he was looking at me soo intensely! lol..i was just high five-ing Reo, and was gonna see him, but he was already looking so hard at me lol.. this guy, thank goodness, i m not that really into him, i would be so dead if i was lol...
- i was calling out there name one by one lol!!!
- i dont remember Ryuto and Alan session at all.. my mind was totally shutting downn ahhhhh
- finally snapped at hayato's high five, coz he was so loud! lol!!

and finally the show end.. ahhh... it was one of the best day of my life... to see my dearest.. in such a close distance.. and to high five them.. ahh.. i will remember this moment forever..

additional post:

Memory of Mad Cyclone
Last year, when i watched the song live at Saitama Super Arena, the moment the song started playing, and the big screen (??) thingy lifted up, and i saw Gene with my own eyes for the first time, heard Ryuto for the first time, oh my god. What a feeling.. To hear Ryuto’s voice live.. and the first person that i went to look for is.. Alan.. And i think my eyes was on him for the whole minute..  until i finally look at the others..



fast forward to 8 months later, when i went to Shenzen to watch them again, and as usual, it start with Mad Cyclone. Song started, and once again, to hear Ryuto’s voice live omg and at a much closer range omg i was really dying, my hand on my mouth, and i was rocking back and forth, i feel like vomiting coz i was too overwhelmed.. This time, my eyes were on Ryuto for a whole minute lol.. until.. i finally decided to look for Alan and i saw. omg.. nope. He is still magic after all. From my seat, the person in front of me is Reo. After watching Alan for like 2 or 3 minutes and my neck got kinda hurt from looking to the side too much, i finally look to the front, and saw Reo lol… So, Reo is part of my Mad Cyclone memory too now..



ok.. i think that is for my report.. bye!

January 28, 2018

Random talk session 297: 2018

helo diary! it is 28 january 2018! omg i m sorry i m so late.. 

it is 2018.. and marks the 10 years i hav been writing on blogspot.... 

i dont really write here anymore, but.. i still need to do the yearly meme lol

What fandoms did you acquire in 2017?
GENERATIONS FROM EXILE TRIBE
- OMG i m so obsessed wit them now!!!!!!!!!!! i just cant!!!! i love them so much i wanna explode!!! i should not be fangirling anymore, but yet, here i am, i cant believe it.. these guys manage to thaw my ice cold heart.. i was so tired of jpop and idols... i just wanna fangirling voices and anime characters.. i hate real life people... 


What fandoms did you let go of in 2017?
- bcoz of my new obsession, i have let go of most of the previous fandom! i dont watch supernatural anymore... heck, i m watching nothing! anime, series, movie, nothing at all!!! i just wanna watch Gene.. i m suffering so much!!!!!!!!!

What fandoms do you intend on checking out in 2018?
- NONE! coz i m still so freakin obsessed with Gene!!!!!!!!! OMG HELP ME

ok.. i need to tell the story of this.. so, yeah, i have been wanting for a world tour since last year.. sadly, none, but they got China tour! and of course i was overjoyed when i heard the news! my hands were trembling!! i was planning to go to all shows! lol.. but of course, i was too naive. Little did i know.. the hardship of getting tickets.. .it is like a roller coaster ride.. my feels.. i am so sad and depressed now bcoz of it.. i feel like i wish i dint even know them... this feels is so heavy.. i m so so very sad... 

it kinda hurts to remember it again... but oh well, i need to record this event... 

so after i found out about the tour, i checked out various things. to prepare for the trip. i searched for flight tickets, accommodation and transportation.. then, the ticketing site finally opened.. and i saw "payment only by Alipay and wechat paymant" and i was like.. omg no debit card???? ahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so i opened up Alipay, and made an account, but it seems without a bank account in China, cant make transaction.. ahhhhhh GETTING TICKET IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME. Out of desperation, i message this girl from Instagram, she's from China, and ask for her to buy for me. And she agreed to help!!! What a nice girl!! Thank you random girl! Next, on the day of ticket sales, the battle begun!!!!!!!!! and I LOST AHHH I M SO SADDDDD OK TO SHORTEN. SHE COULDNT GET TICKETS TO ANY OF THE SHOWS I M SOOOOO SADDDDDDDDDD I WANNA CRYYYY THEN SHE RECOMMENDED THIS RESELLER ON TAOBAO, AND BCOZ I JUST DONT CARE ANYMORE I WENT AND BOUGHT THE RESELLER TICKETS AT MUCH HIGHER PRICE I DONT CARE THAT I GET SCAM I JUST WANNA TRY EVERYTHING SO THAT I WONT REGRET MY LIFE LATER 

so yeah... actually more story to it.. but i kinda dont hav the mood to write it here.. it makes me too sad.. everyday i m woken up to this sadness... i feel miserable..  i cant wait for the ticket to arrive so i can end this misery... 

ahhhh i hate this... i wanna stop now.. i cant.. 

bye..