Random talk session 279

hello diary, today is 9th of april..

just got off of work... still one nite to go..

yesterday was kinda bliss for me, coz i went to work wit him (on his car).. this is maybe one of the last chance that it is only us two.. sitting next to him, to talk to him, makes me so happy.. and now that we are apart again, i m still thinking bout him.. damn it..

i maybe look like i m avoiding him, but of coz i want to stay close to him always..

ugh.. oh feels..the feels is too much..

edit later..

hello diary,, today is 12th april.. i wanna add in some things...

so.. yeah,, thinking of my crush.. like, is just too funny.. like, so many people, and why i has to crush on him?? his biggest flaw, i m very very very bad to say this, but he is not that much of a man... lol.. kinda have this "pondan" vibe to him.. i have felt like that from the 1st time i met him. that is why, it is still a mystery that i can fall for this guy.. though he is kinda "onee" (the phrase in japanese) sometimes, but when he talk to me, he is kinda masculine i guess lol.. but when he talks to the other girls, he seriously acts too much like a girl, sometimes, he makes the gestures too, and when he does that, i'd be like so much amuse, and grins (at myself.). like..seriously man.. this guy is totally not normal. i can feel it in my bones lol and still, why??? why do i still fall for him?????? like, i m asking the same question everyday.. i kept asking myself, "WHY?? WHY HIM???"

so, i think harder... what is it that made me fall for him? what did he do? after much thought, maybe  it is bcoz he is such a family man.. i can see he cares for his family very much,, he gives his mother money every month, even though his salary is not that much. he also afford to buy his own car using his own hard earn money. i respect that kinda guy. and i guess, after a while, the respect kinda turns to love... he is really a great guy. the way he treats his family with so much love and care, makes me want to be a part of his family too.. oh my god, i m getting all teary again.. i will nvr find guy like him again.. i m so sad..

tat is all for today..