Random talk session 129: Life in GEMS part 9

hello diary! today is 18/3/2010. it's thursday.

during lunch, sumthing really good happen to me..i'll tell the story later...so, anyway..that sumthing, it made me really, really, really, really happy, and then i kno, sumthing bad, real bad gonna comes up next. and how true was it. i cried during the bi class. i felt so ashame of myself!!!!!!!!!!! ARGHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE MYSELF. I DONT BLAME ANYONE, i dont blame or hold any grudge to the person who chose me to go, or the trainer or even the one who criticize me, bcoz i kno, what they had said were the truth, and i dun mind. the one who really made me mad and angry and sad is myself. i hate myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM SO STUPID!!!!!!!! WHY THE HELL AM I LIKE THIS??????????? BEING SO OVERLY EMOTIONAL OVER SUCH SMALL MATTERS!!!!!!!!! ARGHHHH!!!! STUPID!!!!!! STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I FREAKIN DAMN HATE MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Our mentor even gave me some advice and all... i made such a fool out of myself. and now everyone kno how weird i am!! arghhhhh!!

ahh!! dun want to talk about this anymore...what pass have pass la. i dun want to remember it anymore, specially when it involve an unpleasant memories like this...*sigh*

...ok...about the good thing that happen...what else...about that guy la haha. i had been wanting to eat on the same table with him since..i saw him eating in the basement (meal time) XDDD and then, finally today, my wish was realized XDDDD it was like...fate lol no la... actually i didnt want to go lunch today, but my friend persuade me bcoz i didnt even took any breakfast or eat anything during tea time. i'm so glad that i did XDDD

his friend was on the same table where i and my friend were eating..so he went there to eat... at first we was like, only brought the rice lol he said sumthing like this: how silly! why did i only take the rice??? oh gawd the cuteness kills me XDDDDD hahahaha i want to cuddle him like a teddy bear XDDDD when he said that i looked at his plate and saw the rice and i tried really hard to contained myself from laughing too hard XDDD and not to mention my heart was beating like crazy bcoz he was too close XDDDDDDDD but the problem when he's so close, i cant stare at him, bcoz if i do, of coz he is gonna found out! i dun want him to notice me.. ah, i also tried to take a pic of him, but i fail bcoz it's too hard!! cant have a good view..he's too close..it's really obvious if i try to take picture of him... ahhhh..i miss him already..i wish i can see him during dinner at 6:30pm XD (now is 6pm) hahahahah

eemm...what else??? dunno what to add...so..

-to be continue-